Dramione chapter 1

Hermione Granger


Some say that letting go is the only way to move forward. Others say that those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. So, which is it? Am I supposed to let it all go or remember? I just want to be able to move on with my life and not worry about Voldemort or Death Eaters. I want to just live a simple life of books. After Harry and Ginny's wedding, I thought I would feel better about everything. I thought that seeing them get married would help me realize that the war is over and I could finally live again. However, I don't feel better at all. After I finished school I became a healer at St. Mungo's. I thought that the best thing for me to do was to help as many people as I could. Recently I've realized, as selfish as it may sound, that I cannot completely help others without first helping myself. I need to heal myself emotionally and spending the entire day around sick and injured people was not going to help me do that. So, I quit my job at St. Mungo's and opened a bookshop. What could possibly be more poetic? Hermione Granger surrounded my hundreds of books all day long. It just seemed like a good fit. So, now I am sitting in my small bookshop behind the counter, reading about Herbology while a few customers look around. The bookshop is small and simple, but that's why I love it. Plus, it's right around the corner from my flat. It was a difficult decision to leave my job at St. Mungo's, but as I sit here now I realize that it was the best decision for me. I couldn't possibly be happier surrounded by books in my own bookshop in Wizard London.


I flip the page in my book and see a section about Devil's Snare. I laugh to myself thinking all the way back to my first year at Hogwarts when I had to save Ronald from Devil's Snare because he wouldn't relax. My smile fades immediately. I haven't spoken to Ronald since we broke up at Harry and Ginny's wedding. Very classy to break up at a wedding, I know. Althought it is equally classy of Ronald to hook up with another woman in the broom closet at his best friend and sister's wedding. Luckily I tried to keep my cool as much as possible so not to ruin the beautiful day for my friends. It's been really difficult lately. I haven't dated anyone since Ron and after I wiped all memory of me from my parents, I've just felt so alone. I still have my friends of course, but it isn't the same at all. Harry and Ginny are married now and they have so much going on for just the two of them that sometimes I feel like a third wheel. Neville and Luna are great friends, but they are both so busy with work lately that I hardly ever see them. I just wish that I had someone in my life right now to spend time with and take my mind off of the less pleasant things.


The bell on the door chimes as it opens. I don't look up from my book as I figure the customer can help themselves around the shop. I'm completely calm and relaxed with my book. Neville insisted that I read this book on Herbology. He's always been so amazed by it all. I can hear footsteps approaching the counter. Suddenly my stomach lurches as I hear a customer speak.


"Good afternoon, Mr. Malfoy," the customer says. I want to look up, but I'm frozen in place, staring down at my book. Was I just hearing things? Maybe she didn't say Malfoy but another name that sounds similar. But what if she really did say Malfoy? How many Malfoy families are there around here? As far as I know of, just one. Was it Lucius or Draco? What would either of them possibly be doing here? Too many questions! I'm too nervous to look up. The mysterious Malfoy does not vocally respond to the other customer, so I cannot judge who it is by his voice. My heart is pounding loudly in time with the footsteps that are continuing to get closer to the counter. I can just barely see a black suit standing in front of me on the other side of the counter and two hands rest on the counter top. I feel sick with nervousness as the man in front of me clears his throat for my attention. I force my gaze away from my book and into the cold, grey eyes of Draco Malfoy. I try to keep my face as composed as possible.


"Malfoy," I say dully. A light smirk graces his beautiful face. His sharp features are pale and his blonde hair is swept neatly just above his eyes.


"Good afternoon, Granger," he replies. "This is quite the place you have here. Always should have suspected you would end up with a career like this."


"What is that supposed to mean, Malfoy?"


"You practically lived in the library when we were in school. I just meant that it doesn't surprise me that you would want a job involving books. Although, I could've sworn you were a healer over at St. Mungo's. You didn't get sacked, did you?"


"For your information, Malfoy," I say sharply, "I resigned from my job at St. Mungo's all on my own. I just wanted something simpler after..."


Malfoy holds my gaze as I trail off. It's obvious that we are both remembering the war. Of course, he had a much different view of that war being as he was fighting for the other team. Suddenly I remember Moaning Myrtle saying, "He's sensitive. People bully him, too. And he feels lonely and hasn't got anybody to talk to. And he's not afraid to show his feelings and cry!" Normally I would never be able to picture Malfoy crying, but as I stare into his eyes the image becomes very real. My heart squeezes painfully. The war couldn't possibly have been that easy on him either. Wait, what am I thinking? I can't be making excuses for him! Voldemort or no Voldemort, he's still a Death Eater!!


"What do you want, Malfoy? I'm working."


"I was actually hoping that we could talk."


"Talk? You seriously expect me to go get a butterbeer and just chat about the good old days with you?"


"That's not exactly the laid back conversation that I would expect between us. I don't expect you to actually want to talk to me, or even see me at all, but I really need to talk to you. Please, Hermione."


My heart jumps at the sound of his voice saying my name... my first name. A shiver goes up my spine. His eyes are sad and desperate. I can't possibly say no. "Fine. I close up the shop in twenty minutes. If you can wait until then, we can go to the pub around the corner and talk."


"Yes, of course, I'll wait." An actual smile forms upon his lips as he backs away from the counter slowly. He begins to look through all of the books, occassionally taking one off the shelf and examining it before putting it back. The twenty minutes feel like hours as he slowly walks around the shop. Eventually the clock on the wall chimes and repeats, "Closing time!" three times. The one lady that was left in the shop looks up at the clock before leaving the shop. "Did you charm a muggle clock to tell you when it's time to close?"


I look up to see Malfoy studying the clock carefully. "Yes, I did. Is that a problem?"


He looks from the clock to me and smiles. "No. Ready to go?"


I hesitate, looking around the store for anything that can delay the rest of the evening. I grab my jacket and walk toward the door. Malfoy follows me outside and watches me lock up the shop. We receive many confused facial expressions from all of the people who pass us as we walk to the pub around the corner. Many people politely say good evening to us both, but are obviously shocked and confused by the fact that we are walking together. As much as I want to be cool about this, I'm just as shocked and confused as everyone watching us. We arrive at the pub, right across the street from my building. Malfoy holds the door open for me as I walk inside. The pub is nearly empty, which is unusual. There are a few clusters of people eating and a young man reading in the corner.


"Good evening, Mr. Malfoy," the owner says, coming out from the back. "Your usual, I presume? Oh, Ms. Granger, how lovely to see you, dear."


"Hello, sir," I reply shyly. "Very nice to see you as well."


"Yes, sir, my usual would be splendid. Make it two, please," Malfoy says, handing some money to the owner and walking me over to a table. We sit down and it's obivous that this would be considered his usual table. "Thank you for agreeing to do this."


"You didn't have to do that, Malfoy."


"Do what?"


"Pay for my order like that. I could have gotten it myself."


"Oh, I know you could have, but I'm the one who asked you to come here. You clearly didn't want to see me and this is not what you would prefer to be doing, it is only right that I pay. You don't need to spend your own money to sit here and be uncomfortable."


"Speaking of you asking me to be here, why did you ask me to be here?"


"I told you, I wanted to talk to you."


"Talk to me about what? I don't mean to sound rude, but I can't possibly see what you could want to talk to me about. I'm a mudblood, remember. We hate each other." I stare him down as the owner comes back out with our orders and places them on the table. I sip at my butterbeer uncomfortably realizing the irony of what I'm doing. Well, here I am with Draco Malfoy drinking butterbeer. What's next? Chatting about the good old days? I can't help but be nervous. I'm still in shock that he even came to see me. He ignores his drink and food completely as he watches me.


"Listen, Hermione, I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I know that you cannot possibly forgive me for all of the horrible things that I've done. I could never expect you to do that. I just couldn't live another day without saying these things to you. I know you'll never believe this, but that person I was during the war... that's not me. I mean, it was me or at least I thought it was. I was raised in that world. The Death Eaters and the  Dark Lord and this lifestyle was all that I knew. From the outside looking in it seemed like what I wanted. I thought that was who I wanted to be, but when the time came to be him I couldn't do it. I was supposed to be the one to kill Dumbledore. V-Voldemort said that I had to kill Voldemort or he would kill me. But I couldn't do it." He begins to roll his sleeves up to expose his forearm to me. The place on his arm where the Dark Mark used to be is now just skin. The Dark Mark is gone. I wince at the thought of how painful it probably was to remove it. Suddenly I'm filled with guilt and sympathy. I can't help but believe him that it wasn't the life he wanted. But his life was at risk, how could he just resist it all? He was afraid. I instinctively reach across the table and hold his hand. "The nightmares just keep getting worse. Bellatrix Lestrange dancing around me like a crazy person all the time as mass chaos went on around us. I'm sorry, for what she did to you."


The memory of that awful woman carving mudblood into my arm as she screamed in my face haunts me quite often. I couldn't pretend otherwise, not even to Malfoy. "I wish that I could say that it was okay. Draco, why are you telling me this? I mean, of all of the people in the world you're telling me. Why?"


He stares at my hand in his for a moment, pondering the my question. "My mum arranged for me to marry Astoria Greengrass. A few days before the wedding was supposed to happen, Astoria and I are talking about the war and everything that had happened. I told her that my viewpoint on all of that had changed. Hers hadn't. She told me that if I wanted to throw away everything that my familiy had worked for and become a unworthy wizard, that I should marry a mudblood like Granger. I stood up and walked away and I never saw her again, but I couldn't get you out of my mind. No one from my world would understand my change of heart or support me in any way. I didn't know who else to go to. I just needed someone in my life to take my mind off of everything."


"So, what did you expect? That you would come here and tell me this and all would be forgotten? That we would suddenly be friends after all the hell you put me through?"


"No. No, I could never expect that of you. I know that I don't deserve that. I just needed you to know. I need to say it out loud. And now that I have, I won't bother you again." He stands up and begins to walk toward the door.


"Draco, wait!" I stand up and run after him. "I don't know if I can ever forgive you and I don't know if we could ever be friends. But I'm willing to try and find out."


"Hermione?" a voice calls from the doorway. Draco freezes in place, staring at me with wide eyes. I look over his shoulder to see Harry, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Luna all standing at the doorway staring at me. Ron speaks to me again, "I didn't know you were going to be here."


"Yeah, Hermione, why didn't you tell us you were going to be here, too?" Ginny asks. Suddenly she stops and refocuses her attention to the back of Draco's head. After a long moment of silence, Draco turns around to face my friends. Eyes widen and jaws drop. Neville, Ginny, and Luna all stand in silent shock. Ron's face is buring red with anger and Harry holds him back.


"GET AWAY FROM HER!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!? DON'T TOUCH HER!!" Ron screams at Draco, his arms fighting to break free from Harry's grip. Draco says nothing. I reach for Draco's arm and wrap my hands around him as if to show my friends that it was okay and he wasn't hurting me. This only seems to make Ron more upset.


"Hermione, I don't understand," Harry says. "What are you doing here with Malfoy?"


"We were just talking," I explain. "He came to my bookshop and asked if we could talk so I agreed. We were just talking. Please, don't be upset."


"IT'S MALFOY, HERMIONE!!!" Ron yells!


"I know who he is, Ronald!!" I yell back. "And in case you've forgotten you are the one who cheated on me so you have no say in who I spend my time with!! You have no right to be concerned of my company anymore! That was your choice!"


I feel Draco's gaze fall to me as tears burn in my eyes. I clearly have unresolved anger issues toward Ron. Ron's anger suddenly turns to guilt and embarrassment.


"Now, if you will excuse us, we were just leaving," I say firmly, pulling Draco toward the door. We push past my friends and out the door.


"Hermione!" Ron calls.


"Don't follow me!" I snap back angrily. The door to the pub slams shut and I'm left standing on the street alone with Draco. I run across the street and sit on the bench outside my building. The tears begin to flow freely down my cheeks and I shake with anger. I suddenly feel Draco sit down next to me and wrap his arms around me. Instead of using my brain to tell me how unusual this scene is, I just lean into him and let myself cry.


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